I am busy writing and planning for series two at the moment. I have to admit – some of my research needs a trigger warning. 

I can find myself getting caught up in a merry-go-round of emotion: “”Should I” vs “shouldn’t I”; “Too much info” vs “silence is the problem”. I promised myself this podcast would be as honest as possible without damaging my mental health, that line is a difficult one to judge.

Some of you have given feedback on what you’d like to hear on the podcast – and what you’d like less of – Thank You for sharing your thoughts, it is really helpful. 

If you want to be part of the podcast, to share your story or feedback, just get in touch via the contact page; email or via social media DM. I also have a new voice-notes option where you can record messages which I may feature in series two.

Now – back to the research…

I am very exited to tell you that I will be sharing a special pre-released episode of the Trying Again podcast as part of Podbean’s Podcast Wellness Week.

It a first for Podbean and me!

Podcast Wellness Week will also feature daily exclusive livestreams with world-renowned wellness experts – the line-up is impressive. It includes Hollywood Veteran and founder of The Inner Fitness Project, Tina Lifford, John Gray, author of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, 6th generation shaman, author and host of Ancient Wisdom Today podcast, Shaman Durek, wellness influencer and founder of Philosophie superfoods Sophie Jaffe and therapist and author Dr. Adi Jaffe of IGNTD podcast, along with therapist and author, Kati Morton of Ask Kati Anything podcast!  

The event also features two daily live-streamed panels discussing mental health, sleep, meditation, positive mindset, fitness and nutrition with well-known wellness podcasters, along with daily meditations. Check out the full schedule here.

The panels will be livestreamed for free on Podbean via your browser and the Podbean App. You can also purchase a full pass for $25 to replay recordings of all the sessions at your convenience and access bonus content. 

I am very happy to have an episode in the line-up in this week and to be able to collaborate with this community. Helping to do my bit to break the silence surrounding miscarriage.

Join me! 

When I started this podcast I had no idea what to expect from the community surrounding this topic – nor what listeners it would have.

I am so pleased to share its hit a milestone of its first 1,000 listeners. I also had my first comments and the podcast was listed on the “Top Podcasts in Parenting” on Apple podcasts listings.

I have no idea how the algorithm works in Apple podcasts, nor do I know what to learn from my stats. What I can do is read what people are saying to me, what people are sharing and learn lessons from any comments.

It will sound cheesy I know: I just wanted to tell my story and help one person – and that one person got in touch on my Instagram feed. It was a private message that I will obviously keep private but I will say it was also a Thank You message and that made me smile.

The podcast is a project of passion, that and this blog are my little area of the web to be me and share my story – the exploration is real, I am finding out things all the time and I think it is helping me and so it feels right to share what I am finding with someone.

I took a deep breath and pressed the publish button. To my surprise a band came marching into my garden playing very loud party music, party poppers went off, balloons fell from the ceiling and someone set of some fireworks… in my mind.

In reality, I pressed publish and the room was still silent.

It is such a strange feeling to have my story “out there”. I am not sure how I feel – happy that the story is being told but I also feel a bit of sadness that the story I am sharing of my children is not one of their achievements but of their deaths. This is the journey I am on I guess and moments like this will come.

I have also really enjoyed making this – strangely for such a sad topic. Now I am off on this road with you all and I can’t wait to share the stories I’ve collected along the way.

I hope you enjoy it, if you do please like, share and review (on your podcast app) so that others will find it. Even if it’s just this little corner of the world talking – at least we are.

Thank You

EP15: Toll of miscarriage Trying Again Podcast

Updates from series one as UK charity Tommy’s publishes a new study highlighting the profound impact of miscarriage. The study, published in The Lancet, urges the UK Government to “overhaul a system that currently denies many families the help they need”. Featuring clips from Professor Arri Coomarasamy and Professor Siobhan Quenby from the Tommy’s Miscarriage Research centre. The theme song is Small Bump by Ed Sheeran Hosted, produced and edited by Rachael Smith. There’s links to help available on  http://www.tryingagainpodcast.com. Follow on social using @TryingAgainPod.
  1. EP15: Toll of miscarriage
  2. EP14: Trying Again Podcast reflection (S1)
  3. EP13: Guided meditation for miscarriage
  4. EP12: Mental health support and miscarriage
  5. EP11: Couples and miscarriage

It’s the night before launch. How am I feeling (I hear you ask).

Well, it I am honest – and you must understand this podcast will be just that – I am feeling nervous. I have been writing, editing, planning and producing this podcast as a project of passion now for over a year and the thought that tomorrow – all I do is hit a button and then the world can hear it all. That is daunting.

It is also quite poetic that after all that’s gone, all it takes is a press of one little button “Publish”.

For many, this won’t be anything – I still am not sure who will listen. For me it’s a huge step both in my recovery and understanding of miscarriage and my exploration of this new world I am in because of them.

If you’re out on the social feeds you’ll have seen the clips I’ve posted. If you want to see them – here they are.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1….

After years of thoughts and planning and months of editing, I’ve finally decided on a launch date. Thursday 24 September 2020.

How am I feeling? A little nervous, even to put that date out there.

I’ve also published the podcast trailer featuring some of the fantastic guests I’ve spoken with and a snippet of the drama I have written. It is also the first time the words “multiple miscarriage” are heard from my voice publicly.

I’ve also added a press pack and cast bios.

I feel a bit anxious publishing this and having it “out there”. I know I don’t need to tell this story, I also know some people wouldn’t.

I have no idea if anyone will listen. I guess time will tell.

Today was the first cast script read of Trying Again’s EP02: The story so far.

I thought I was prepared; I’ve read and re-read the script in re-writes and edits. Today was the first time I’ve heard it out loud, with the actors.

Who are fantastic.

And I cried.

Emotional as it was it put a fire in my belly to make sure this story gets to you and to make sure this topic is talked about.

I recorded the read-through so the actors, who are all acting this remotely at home, have the audio to work with. All was fine and well until – I clicked on my recording file and it had disappeared.

I had a sinking feeling and for five minutes or so there I was, worried I’d lost it forever. Thankfully I recovered the file and all is now well with the world!

What are you waiting for?

I am at the stage now that I am taking the leap, it’s time.

I’ve been on a journey to make this podcast for over a year. There’s been far, far too many hurdles to get over to get to this point. I won’t bore you with them all but it’s been … interesting!

I am starting now to reach out to potential guests and recording some interviews that I will be sharing with you.

I am also putting a cast together for a special radio doccy drama that will feature in the podcast. I have a script written, and re-written, and a cast confirmed. This is my first radio drama. I am feeling nervous, a little-bit of imposter syndrome and excited all in one.

I hope you will join me on this journey, as I share more with you on the progress of making the Trying Again podcast.

It is very much coming soon!

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.
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